In a season whose running theme seems to be hoary old clichés (and whorey old clichés, this show loves its sex jokes, but that's beside the point for the moment), it should come as no surprise that last Sunday Family Guy produced an episode centred on one of the hoariest old clichés of all: having the kids trade places with the adults because, oh my god, it's always so much easier to be part of the opposite group you're in now, isn't it? Now, as super-clichés go, this is one that remains more potentially amusing than most, so I suppose there was some small sliver of hope to be had going into this, I say, in an attempt at fake optimism, so as to appear unbiased.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Family Guy Review: "The Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair"
A Word From The Future: To those people reading my blog from back-to-front - and while I enjoy having new readers, it's embarrassing to have this older material here - allow me to explain the circumstances here. I lived with a roommate at the time, in Michigan, because I thought he would be a good friend, though in the end he turned out to be a truly evil devil, hint hint. But, anyway, he really dug Family Guy, and held it in unreasonably high esteem, so of course we ended up having to watch each new episode. As a general animation fan, I didn't outright mind, but I....didn't share his feelings on the show. (Or politics, or cheese, or perpetual virginity.) Just as something to do during a period of boredom, I decided I might as well write reviews every current episode the show while I was there. For some reason. I'd like to think I have better things to do now. Or, at least, I have more fun with the things I do now.
For some reason, it seems like this season has been receiving a relative amount of praise, for cutting back on the so-called "manatee jokes". (I use this term to call out a side note: South Park devoted a fucking TWO-PARTER to trashing ONE cartoon and, though Trey Parker and Matt Stone are certainly smart and clever people who make amusing things in other venues, it makes their show look pathetic, too) But, here's the thing - is a simple, bland, and non-engaging storyline without random jokes really any better than a simple, bland, and non-engaging storyline that's at least willing to break up its monotony? The effect is of writers who cannot write an interesting story attempting to do so, and it's a thoroughly awkward experience. Case in point: the last new episode, from a week and a half ago, "The Hand That Walks the Wheelchair".
For some reason, it seems like this season has been receiving a relative amount of praise, for cutting back on the so-called "manatee jokes". (I use this term to call out a side note: South Park devoted a fucking TWO-PARTER to trashing ONE cartoon and, though Trey Parker and Matt Stone are certainly smart and clever people who make amusing things in other venues, it makes their show look pathetic, too) But, here's the thing - is a simple, bland, and non-engaging storyline without random jokes really any better than a simple, bland, and non-engaging storyline that's at least willing to break up its monotony? The effect is of writers who cannot write an interesting story attempting to do so, and it's a thoroughly awkward experience. Case in point: the last new episode, from a week and a half ago, "The Hand That Walks the Wheelchair".
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Something in that non-beef apparently makes Jesse bitchy
A Word From The Future: Of everything from early in this blog's life, this HAS to be the most inexplicable. I must've been hella bored that day.
With so many better fast food joints nearby, I'll never understand why Jim still likes to drag us to the mostly meatless Taco Bell so relatively often. Today's lunch was particularly hellish. We'd had no reason to suspect so much business at 2 p.m. on a Tuesday afternoon, but....ughhh. Some chick was in there with, like, fifteen or so kindergarten-aged children. I don't know the story behind this. Is she some sort of babysitter who wanted to partially pass on her paid duties to the general quasi-Mexican-eating public? Is she a teacher and am I witnessing one of the lamest field trips ever? Did this woman devour a truckload of fertility meds six years ago and shove out a load of pentadecatuplets? At any rate it was awful and the children are being raised so terribly today and when did they stop having manners back in my day if you didn't have manners your parents beat them into you with a frying pan and we had to walk to school and it was uphill both ways and the snow was up to *gestures toward his neck* here!
As is generally true, Taco Bell likes playing terrible music. It encourages diners to hurry through their eating and get out of the wretched establishment more quickly, as per their fastness-based business model. One of the not-good songs they were playing in there today was Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream". Now, it seems all the professional music critics seem to like it because it's sweet and earnest and what-have-you - "Isn't young love just beautiful? Surely nothing purer than sexual intercourse wherein neither of the participants is legal!" - but, oy, I just couldn't get over the fact that it's a song that is apparently quite literally about fucking some dude solely because he's a brainless grovelling sycophant. How romantique! (Also, I'm bitching about a song that was released over half a year ago, I believe. How timely!) "He thinks I'm funny when I get the punchline wrong," notes Katy Perry. I suppose that this is not at all surprising to me, since pretty much her entire career is based on people lying to her about having talent. At any rate, I guess I should just take it as a victory that she wrote a song whose basis is neither lazy contrived homophobia or lazy contrived lady homoerotica.
With so many better fast food joints nearby, I'll never understand why Jim still likes to drag us to the mostly meatless Taco Bell so relatively often. Today's lunch was particularly hellish. We'd had no reason to suspect so much business at 2 p.m. on a Tuesday afternoon, but....ughhh. Some chick was in there with, like, fifteen or so kindergarten-aged children. I don't know the story behind this. Is she some sort of babysitter who wanted to partially pass on her paid duties to the general quasi-Mexican-eating public? Is she a teacher and am I witnessing one of the lamest field trips ever? Did this woman devour a truckload of fertility meds six years ago and shove out a load of pentadecatuplets? At any rate it was awful and the children are being raised so terribly today and when did they stop having manners back in my day if you didn't have manners your parents beat them into you with a frying pan and we had to walk to school and it was uphill both ways and the snow was up to *gestures toward his neck* here!
As is generally true, Taco Bell likes playing terrible music. It encourages diners to hurry through their eating and get out of the wretched establishment more quickly, as per their fastness-based business model. One of the not-good songs they were playing in there today was Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream". Now, it seems all the professional music critics seem to like it because it's sweet and earnest and what-have-you - "Isn't young love just beautiful? Surely nothing purer than sexual intercourse wherein neither of the participants is legal!" - but, oy, I just couldn't get over the fact that it's a song that is apparently quite literally about fucking some dude solely because he's a brainless grovelling sycophant. How romantique! (Also, I'm bitching about a song that was released over half a year ago, I believe. How timely!) "He thinks I'm funny when I get the punchline wrong," notes Katy Perry. I suppose that this is not at all surprising to me, since pretty much her entire career is based on people lying to her about having talent. At any rate, I guess I should just take it as a victory that she wrote a song whose basis is neither lazy contrived homophobia or lazy contrived lady homoerotica.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Michigan's Auto-Erotic Obsessive Fixation
A Word From The Future: In retrospect, let me say that I'm glad nobody hired me in Detroit's shitcomony. If I'd found work, I might've spent even more time living with The Worst Person In The World.....That I've Known Personally. Thank you, bar and grill whose name I forget. Thank. You.
Okay, it's time for a little rantiness, in a not-terribly-organised format because this isn't a terribly important post!
So, like, yesterday I called on a recent application, to some crappy bar and grill. I was expecting the usual - a polite decline, maybe a facetious reminder to reapply again in a few months. Instead, I'm treated to a passive-aggressive tangent about how there are people "more deserving" of the position, who were "in Michigan before" me, and they don't appreciate me "trying to take it away" from them. So, basically, the owner of this particular establishment sees a job application from some kid whose previous work experience was in Montana, and interprets this to mean that I'm trying to steal jobs that (one assumes he thinks) should go to the out-of-work auto factory workers. Because, um, out-of-work factory workers are more important than out-of-work other types of workers, apparently.
Well, firstly - and it's always hilarious in my mind when socially awkward Jesse can actually say this about another human being - someone clearly needs to work on their people skills! Perhaps I just called on a bad day, but....yeesh. Secondly, um, isn't this a little, well, questionably legal? Even if it were I'm entirely too spineless to actually do anything about it, but the curiosity is there. Thirdly, if you are going to consciously and unfairly discriminate against a certain type of job seeker, at least don't be blatant and tell it right to their faces! That's just obvious. And fourthly, this recalls the time I was let go from that generic café in Absarokee after I moved into Columbus, because they didn't want "out-of-towners" working there. It seems as though Jesse has a precedent of not fitting in, well, pretty much anywhere! Wheeeeeee!
Now that I've been illogically accused of job-stealing, I'm slightly closer to understanding what it would feel like to be a crude and offensive Mexican stereotype.
Okay, it's time for a little rantiness, in a not-terribly-organised format because this isn't a terribly important post!
So, like, yesterday I called on a recent application, to some crappy bar and grill. I was expecting the usual - a polite decline, maybe a facetious reminder to reapply again in a few months. Instead, I'm treated to a passive-aggressive tangent about how there are people "more deserving" of the position, who were "in Michigan before" me, and they don't appreciate me "trying to take it away" from them. So, basically, the owner of this particular establishment sees a job application from some kid whose previous work experience was in Montana, and interprets this to mean that I'm trying to steal jobs that (one assumes he thinks) should go to the out-of-work auto factory workers. Because, um, out-of-work factory workers are more important than out-of-work other types of workers, apparently.
Well, firstly - and it's always hilarious in my mind when socially awkward Jesse can actually say this about another human being - someone clearly needs to work on their people skills! Perhaps I just called on a bad day, but....yeesh. Secondly, um, isn't this a little, well, questionably legal? Even if it were I'm entirely too spineless to actually do anything about it, but the curiosity is there. Thirdly, if you are going to consciously and unfairly discriminate against a certain type of job seeker, at least don't be blatant and tell it right to their faces! That's just obvious. And fourthly, this recalls the time I was let go from that generic café in Absarokee after I moved into Columbus, because they didn't want "out-of-towners" working there. It seems as though Jesse has a precedent of not fitting in, well, pretty much anywhere! Wheeeeeee!
Now that I've been illogically accused of job-stealing, I'm slightly closer to understanding what it would feel like to be a crude and offensive Mexican stereotype.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
A few awkward and disjointed thoughts about the Nintendo 3DS
A Word From The Future: I want one now. Also, due to the deletion of a couple of old pseudo-optimistic posts relating to life with The Worst Person In The World....That I Personally Know, about how cool it would be to be roommates and a lame project where I had to buoy his non-existent comedy skills, this stands as the earliest entry on my blog! Until I perfect my time twisting machine, of course.
Am I the only one who isn't really all that excited for the Nintendo 3DS? Maybe it's just because I'm not a wealthy person with metric tonnes of money to blow, but $250 seems a bit steep for a handheld with a ludicrously short battery life. Sounds to me like we're rushing into new technology a little bit before it's actually ready for wide consumption. It doesn't count as portable if I have to remain in one spot and play with the device plugged in, you know! And I hesitate to pretend like I actually fully understand such business things, but loading your software lineup with remakes right out of the gate seems questionable to me. "This new hardware is so advanced that it can even play marginally enhanced Nintendo 64 titles!" And, well, can't say I agree with Nintendo continuing to perpetuate the myth that the awkward and disjointed Ocarina of Time is genuinely a classic. Furthermore, seeing another Deca Sports among this first batch of games doesn't give me a lot of hope for the future. I'm not sure when, exactly, the powers-that-be decided that "casual gamers" were only willing to play shallow crap - like the Wii's endless parade of Wii Sports ripoffs with inferior controls, or these browser-based non-games a la FarmVille - but it's a trend of which I am not fond. They deserve better!
But, let's face it, I'm a nerd and I will eventually be getting a 3DS regardless. So, from that standpoint, I can't say that there aren't things I'm looking forward to. I'll always approve of more Paper Mario so long as it's an RPG, as opposed to a slow, plodding platformer! And I am intrigued by the possibility of the Game Boy Virtual Console. Of course, seeing as how the Wii's VC has mostly been dead for the last couple years now, I'd hope you can understand why this is not a huge immediate selling point for me.
Regardless of my scepticism of the New and Improved Virtual Boy II, I must admit that this is infinitely better than my initial thought, months ago, upon hearing the "3DS" name for the first time - a three-screened handheld? I....I don't know how that would work.
Am I the only one who isn't really all that excited for the Nintendo 3DS? Maybe it's just because I'm not a wealthy person with metric tonnes of money to blow, but $250 seems a bit steep for a handheld with a ludicrously short battery life. Sounds to me like we're rushing into new technology a little bit before it's actually ready for wide consumption. It doesn't count as portable if I have to remain in one spot and play with the device plugged in, you know! And I hesitate to pretend like I actually fully understand such business things, but loading your software lineup with remakes right out of the gate seems questionable to me. "This new hardware is so advanced that it can even play marginally enhanced Nintendo 64 titles!" And, well, can't say I agree with Nintendo continuing to perpetuate the myth that the awkward and disjointed Ocarina of Time is genuinely a classic. Furthermore, seeing another Deca Sports among this first batch of games doesn't give me a lot of hope for the future. I'm not sure when, exactly, the powers-that-be decided that "casual gamers" were only willing to play shallow crap - like the Wii's endless parade of Wii Sports ripoffs with inferior controls, or these browser-based non-games a la FarmVille - but it's a trend of which I am not fond. They deserve better!
But, let's face it, I'm a nerd and I will eventually be getting a 3DS regardless. So, from that standpoint, I can't say that there aren't things I'm looking forward to. I'll always approve of more Paper Mario so long as it's an RPG, as opposed to a slow, plodding platformer! And I am intrigued by the possibility of the Game Boy Virtual Console. Of course, seeing as how the Wii's VC has mostly been dead for the last couple years now, I'd hope you can understand why this is not a huge immediate selling point for me.
Regardless of my scepticism of the New and Improved Virtual Boy II, I must admit that this is infinitely better than my initial thought, months ago, upon hearing the "3DS" name for the first time - a three-screened handheld? I....I don't know how that would work.
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