Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Something in that non-beef apparently makes Jesse bitchy

A Word From The Future: Of everything from early in this blog's life, this HAS to be the most inexplicable. I must've been hella bored that day.

With so many better fast food joints nearby, I'll never understand why Jim still likes to drag us to the mostly meatless Taco Bell so relatively often. Today's lunch was particularly hellish. We'd had no reason to suspect so much business at 2 p.m. on a Tuesday afternoon, but....ughhh. Some chick was in there with, like, fifteen or so kindergarten-aged children. I don't know the story behind this. Is she some sort of babysitter who wanted to partially pass on her paid duties to the general quasi-Mexican-eating public? Is she a teacher and am I witnessing one of the lamest field trips ever? Did this woman devour a truckload of fertility meds six years ago and shove out a load of pentadecatuplets? At any rate it was awful and the children are being raised so terribly today and when did they stop having manners back in my day if you didn't have manners your parents beat them into you with a frying pan and we had to walk to school and it was uphill both ways and the snow was up to *gestures toward his neck* here!

As is generally true, Taco Bell likes playing terrible music. It encourages diners to hurry through their eating and get out of the wretched establishment more quickly, as per their fastness-based business model. One of the not-good songs they were playing in there today was Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream". Now, it seems all the professional music critics seem to like it because it's sweet and earnest and what-have-you - "Isn't young love just beautiful? Surely nothing purer than sexual intercourse wherein neither of the participants is legal!" - but, oy, I just couldn't get over the fact that it's a song that is apparently quite literally about fucking some dude solely because he's a brainless grovelling sycophant. How romantique! (Also, I'm bitching about a song that was released over half a year ago, I believe. How timely!) "He thinks I'm funny when I get the punchline wrong," notes Katy Perry. I suppose that this is not at all surprising to me, since pretty much her entire career is based on people lying to her about having talent. At any rate, I guess I should just take it as a victory that she wrote a song whose basis is neither lazy contrived homophobia or lazy contrived lady homoerotica.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Michigan's Auto-Erotic Obsessive Fixation

A Word From The Future: In retrospect, let me say that I'm glad nobody hired me in Detroit's shitcomony. If I'd found work, I might've spent even more time living with The Worst Person In The World.....That I've Known Personally. Thank you, bar and grill whose name I forget. Thank. You.

Okay, it's time for a little rantiness, in a not-terribly-organised format because this isn't a terribly important post!

So, like, yesterday I called on a recent application, to some crappy bar and grill. I was expecting the usual - a polite decline, maybe a facetious reminder to reapply again in a few months. Instead, I'm treated to a passive-aggressive tangent about how there are people "more deserving" of the position, who were "in Michigan before" me, and they don't appreciate me "trying to take it away" from them. So, basically, the owner of this particular establishment sees a job application from some kid whose previous work experience was in Montana, and interprets this to mean that I'm trying to steal jobs that (one assumes he thinks) should go to the out-of-work auto factory workers. Because, um, out-of-work factory workers are more important than out-of-work other types of workers, apparently.

Well, firstly - and it's always hilarious in my mind when socially awkward Jesse can actually say this about another human being - someone clearly needs to work on their people skills! Perhaps I just called on a bad day, but....yeesh. Secondly, um, isn't this a little, well, questionably legal? Even if it were I'm entirely too spineless to actually do anything about it, but the curiosity is there. Thirdly, if you are going to consciously and unfairly discriminate against a certain type of job seeker, at least don't be blatant and tell it right to their faces! That's just obvious. And fourthly, this recalls the time I was let go from that generic café in Absarokee after I moved into Columbus, because they didn't want "out-of-towners" working there. It seems as though Jesse has a precedent of not fitting in, well, pretty much anywhere! Wheeeeeee!

Now that I've been illogically accused of job-stealing, I'm slightly closer to understanding what it would feel like to be a crude and offensive Mexican stereotype.