Anyway, like several years before it, 2012 turned out to be more of an unmitigated disaster than I had hoped (and blogged) for. Granted, it wasn't as disastrous as, ahem, years far in the past I had to spend with a certain urophilic someone who shan't be named. I guess things are slowly getting better nonetheless, and I think that's an important realization. And I just know things are gonna keep getting even betterer, because it's a new year, with renewed potential for big change. We finally elected a black man president, after all!
So, what do I hope to achieve in 2013? I'm glad I asked! As usual, I've made a quick list of the four things I feel are the most important for me to focus on this year, on a personal level.
- Becoming the social people person I seem to really need to be. This is something I resolve to do every year, and it's something I always make a little progress. Why not keep going? I actually made several friends last year - love you, Andrew, Jamie, Matt, Steffie, Scott, Sam, and Emily! - though, alas, I'm still pretty awkward in person nonetheless. Still, progress is progress, and as a social anxiety sufferer, I'm always proud of every little step I manage to take out of my shell. Y'know what bothers me more than anything? People who try to "helpfully" suggest the easy way to cope with social situations that might make me nervous, like the person at my support group who cheerfully informed me that applying for disability would be "better" than trying to have a career in the real world, or......y'know, whatever. What the fuck, people??? That would be giving up, and Jesse doesn't give up. Now, he thinks about it for a long time, he seriously thinks about it, but no, in the end, he just doesn't. Why give up? I'm better off in this department than I have been in a long time, so I'm unreasonably confident that I'll be able to keep it up in 2013, too.
- Hobbies! For some reason, I've always been remarkably bad at actually allowing myself to enjoy....myself. Being creative, whether writing or drawing or whatever, is one of my favorite things in the world, and yet I still rarely allow myself to do it, because there's always something "more important" I feel I should be doing. And of course there's something more important to be doing sometimes, but certainly not always. Compulsively rearranging my closet in order from the thing I'd most like to wear at the moment on the left to the thing I'd least like to wear at the moment on the right is probably something that I could stand to put off a little more. After all, everyone needs a hobby. Right? I really need to get around to working on Infinite Mankey Theorem with Taylor, and there's a few stories I've been itching to write, and the Wacom tablet has been nagging me to spend a little more intimate quality time with her. In short, in 2013, I resolve to be prolific enough that you'll all be completely sick of me eventually. You're welcome.
- Something related to weight loss, because people are required by law to resolve to lose weight, every single year. After all, defying the law is not at all a Jesselike thing to do.
- Taylor, finally. This is the big one, about a hundred thousand million times more important than all the rest. I love Taylor with all my heart; the hardest part was having to keep myself from saying it for the longest time. After all, she WAS in a "relationship", though truth be told that just amounted to a lot of gross emotional messiness. Emotional messiness I was more than happy to help tidy up. Just like she helped me tidy up a lot of emotional messiness in my own life. With our mutual emotional janitorial tendencies, I guess it's no real surprise that we've ended up here. I'd do anything for Taylor, and in 2013, I resolve to make doing "anything" considerably easier for all parties involved, by finally starting our life together, and nothing will ever be able to tear us apart again. Truth be told, we've been madly in love for five years now - here's to about a hundred thousand million more!
(...and even more regular prostate massage. Let's say daily, that sounds about right.)
So, here's to 2013! I hope you all have big plans for this year, too. The world was nice enough to not end in 2012, after all, so I think you owe it to the world to make the most of the not-deadness you've so kindly been given!