....okay, yeah, it's a little weird to have a V-Day episode a week early when NBC will actually be airing an episode on the 14th anyway. As confusing holiday-related scheduling goes it's really minor, to be fair. Zombie Community will evidently be airing its Halloween episode next week, surely the result of some sort of deeply subversive, meta, and/or postmodern commentary on the very concept of sitcom holiday episodes and NOT the result of being screwed over by the network, repeatedly. I guess I shouldn't complain about this too much. Yet, I will. If they're going to be airing an episode of The Office next week anyway, then why didn't they plan around that a bit better when they made their decision to pair up "Couples Discount" and "Vandalism"? Of course, I'm surely incapable of understanding the deep complexities it takes to schedule programming. Maybe they thought it would just be awkward to air a Valentine's episode of something on the same night as a Halloween episode of something else?
Yeah. Because "Couples Discount" would've totally been the awkward part of that equation. Totally.
(Possible spoilers and such below the cut!)
Despite the title, this episode isn't really about couples discounts past the first act. (Theoretically, you could say that it's a discount in the number of couples, but even that's not true; Erin/Andy is over, but replaced by Erin/Pete so...yeah.) And, honestly, I'm glad this didn't last past the first act, because The Office is not a show that needs to be spending extended periods of time inside the Particularly Stereotypical Bitchy Asian Nail Salon. What the fuck was that? There's only one thing I liked about this outing, and that's Darryl's eloquent, impassioned defense of his fake gay relationship with Oscar that only exists to get a one-day 20% discount. And even that was in response to a Particularly Stereotypical Bitchy Nail Salon Asian. I can't say I'm offended, but I'm definitely disappointed by the sense of "otherness" they're presented with. (At least Ping was polite!)
Why'd they name this episode after a one-act diversion? Why, surely to avoid spoiling Andy's return here, even though they already ruined that by originally announcing this episode under the title of "Andy's Return", of course! Yes, Andy's back from three months of boatin', because Ed Helms is back from three months of hangin' over. Apparently Ed pissed someone off by putting his film career ahead of the last season of The Office, because he's finally complete his long slide down into genuine goofy-haired villain territory. (He and Meredith should throw a silly wig party together!) Some people might think it's weird, but they should be used to it by now: Andy gets a new characterization once or maybe even twice a season. It's a fact of life. There's nothing to be done about it, other than making excuses. I've noticed a bit of a pattern with Andy, at least, in that he's sweet and earnest when he's down and out, but devolves back into douchedom once he's climbed back up. Having managed to hide out on a yacht for three months without losing pay and, in fact, even getting a bonus, things are pretty great for him now, which naturally means he's plunged to the terrifying depths of super-douchedom.
Note, however, that his super-douchedom isn't really a negative towards this episode. Y'see, Andy spent the previous season and a half being a warmed over Michael Scott clone, inept and oblivious but sweet and well-meaning beneath it all, and it didn't work for him. Here, he is finally something we haven't really seen in this series: inept and oblivious and not all that fond of his employees. He's a swaggering asshole, putting them down for doing more work than he did, and the seething rage he incites is deliciously tense to watch unfold. Dwight excels at this, because of course he's always been a master of contempt; his anger at having the white pages sale retroactively blown was great, and I highly doubt that's the last we've seen of this story thread. Also, how can you not love his Andy impression, guys? And while it was maybe a bit sitcommy to have everyone team up to give Andy a wildly inaccurate summation of the last three months, I don't care. I'm too taken by the delightful prospect of a respectable paper company selling balloons to fault them for that!
Even Erin is rightfully fed up with his antics, and early on she declares her intention to break up with him, though Pete has his doubts. This is about where fear started to set in for me. Was this the return of the interminable sorts of romantic Erin plots from inferior seasons past, a return that would destroy so much of my lingering goodwill towards the introduction of Pete? At least for this week, I feel my fears were unfounded, as she gets the courage to speak up within a day, and the plot actually moves forward. One of the downfalls of introducing this plotline in an already stuffed final season is that we haven't gotten to know Pete all that well, but he still seems sweet enough. Here his willingness to let Erin make her own decisions (BTW, I'm really confused by the lighting in that parking lot scene) forms an effective contrast to Andy's seriously unromantic and notions of romance, which he explains in a wonderfully creepy speech. Surprisingly dark, even. It's the first time in years that Ellie Kemper and Ed Helms have been convincing in a scene together, which is sad seeing as how they were last season's primary romantic leads. Sigh.
Meanwhile, Brian is a probably not totally useless enigma! This week, at his "thanks for not letting Warehouse Guy murder me" luncheon with Jim and Pam, he starts showing flashes of, y'know, character traits. Pretty dark character traits. I can't help but suspect that he knew Alyssa (who, as an unseen character, is a probably totally useless enigma) would be, ahem, unable to attend, even when he first scheduled it. I can't help but notice, after years of watching Michael fake-crying, just how unconvincing his sorrow is here, and I'm assuming for now that it's intentional. I certainly noticed how he talked to Pam like Jim wasn't even there. And it seemed pretty blatant to me (and many others) that he's deliberately trying to introduce doubt between them, spilling secrets and all but coming out right and saying he thinks they're almost over. Seriously, dude's a total freakin' sketchball. (Maybe my transient hooker jokes last week weren't so inaccurate after all!)
Even with Brain's more blatant sketchballin', though, the luncheon wasn't all that interesting. It's Jim and Pam fumbling around afterward, attempting to understand just what exactly they should do about their situation, that sold it in retrospect. I know some people say it's out of character for Jim to try slinking back to Philly early just to avoid confrontation, but I thought it was consistent enough with, say, the way he handled things with Karen in season three. Actually, as they discuss their, um, meal in the parking lot (less oddly lit by this point), it seemed to me that he was more frustrated with himself than anything. Once again, Jenna Fischer steals the show; underneath Pam's meekness, she's by far the most courageous between them. This is where it really starts to feel like a shame that this Valentine's Day episode didn't actually get to air as a Valentine's Day episode, because sometimes the most romantic things aren't all that romantic at all. The most romantic line in the entire episode? "I think that you should stay and I think we should fight." And it works.
Yeah, this is one of those episodes where I'm seriously torn, because it really doesn't put its best foot forward. In addition to Particularly Stereotypical Asian Nail Salon, the first act also treats us to Kevin fondly reminiscing about three months of drinking the "chunky lemon milk" Andy left in the fridge, because dignity is for the weak I guess. But on the other hand, there's so much here that's actually likable, too, even if the Jim/Pam story this week feels dropped into this episode from a far more serious alternate universe. It's certainly not an all-time high, and not even a season high, but it does feel like things are getting back on track after last Thursday's disappointing pair of episodes, so I'll give this a thoroughly respectable 7.0 out of 10.
Trivial Observations and Other Things I Failed Miserably at Incorporating Into the Review Proper:
- "I really like Andy these days. He's pretend and he does exactly as I tell him to. All that will change when Real Andy comes back tomorrow. Unless he comes back as Pretend Dwight. In which case we're in for an epic, confusing showdown."
- I still can't adequately express just how funny the idea of balloon salesmanship is to me. Why? I don't even know! "Who knew the balloon game would be so lucrative?" (David Wallace doesn't even bat an eye; his heart's not really in this anymore.)
- Even in the middle of breaking up, Erin always tries to find a bright side. "You retweeted me a lot, to be fair."
- The really sad part is that there are actually quite a few people out there who have an Andylike view of relationshippin'. "I know you may not be feeling love for me right now, but if you fake it I won't be able to tell the difference! So I'll feel good, and then eventually, maybe.....you'll actually start to love me again."
- Wasn't Jan working in a hospital, for some reason, in season seven? What happened to that? At any rate, it looks like Jan's gonna be leaving the series in the same way she entered it: over speakerphone, bitching out the regional manager.
- Pete asks a good question, you know. Why does no one stop Meredith when she goes off on tangents like that? You've gotta stop her before she gets to "Flesh Hoover"!
- Six seasons after "Back From Vacation", the writers still clearly see the humor value inherent in watching outwardly depressed guys sadly noodling around with Caribbean instrumentation. Granted, this episode didn't have me feelin' as hot hot hot as that one...
- I was just kidding last week, but now that they've been "foot buddies", maybe there IS a chance that Kevin and Angela will get together. It seemed kinda funny when it was just a joke, but now that it's an actual thing they might be doing, I'm feeling a bit....frightened, would be the best way to put it. (If you think she rolls her eyes at his grossness a lot now...)
- Next week's episode apparently involves - SPOILER - Pete getting fired. (But I can't imagine Andy's three month secret vacation going unpunished, either.) Last week's episodes involved Brian get fired. Lots of firing in this cluster of episodes, but not specifically in this episode, which is, um....the one Greg Daniels originally announced someone would get fired in in the first place. Weird!
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