D52 Week 34: The Hunchback of Notre Dame!

As a general rule, with the past Disney films we've covered, when someone boasts of how a particular movie is "unusually dark", what they secretly mean is that it's forgettable at best, horrible at worst, with no real personality. "Sleeping Beauty is unusually dark compared to other Disney films of its era!" Yeah, because everyone's drawn somewhat more angularly? Because our villainess has a less vivid skin tone than even some albinos, which is used in place of giving her an actual personality? Big deal! "The Black Cauldron is one of Disney's darkest films, period!" Well, OF COURSE it is. Having to put up with Gurgi would give ANYONE dark thoughts.

Darkness hasn't served Disney well in the past, is my point. But, somehow, The Hunchback of Notre Dame is different, not to mention even darker than either of those two films, because it's taking on real-world issues! Social injustice! Religious intolerance! Strumpetism! The idea that someone with a name like Frollo can be anything other than wacky! The really surprising thing is that it's actually willing to analyze these rather serious issues that it drags into the fray, and the result is one of Disney's most surprisingly thoughtful films, and probably the most underrated part of the Renaissance.

...though, somehow it's appropriate that people lock this film away in the belltower of their minds instead of trying to appreciate it at all.

Grated, you can't blame people for not being overly warm to this one. It's NOT, by any means, a feel-good movie. I remember complaining, months/decades ago, of how the Disney films produced when Walt himself was still alive presented strangely robotic female leads who can do nothing but smile ingratiatingly, no matter how terrible their situation is. It's distracting, yes, but it was also his concession to the audience, in an era when people probably wouldn't have been willing to accept a depressing cartoon. "She's happy now, because we all know there's going to be a happy ending", it seems to promise. I understand a bit more why that had to be done now that I've seen Quasimodo's attitude toward his own situation here. He still projects the same sort of graciousness when dealing with his Overwhelming Villainous Step-Parent, but now, there's no hiding the sadness in his voice. It leads to a richer, more emotionally evolving storytelling experience.....but, damn, it really IS depressing! I appreciated the story they tried to tell, but I can see why people hoping for, y'know....a more stereotypical cartoon weren't too enthusiastic, and consequently, why Disney doesn't re-release it all that much. It's a shame, though.

Quasimodo still has something in common with those characters, though: We first meet him carrying on a rousing conversation with pretty birdies. He's a lovely Disney Princess after all!

What's really surprising is the way this movie is willing to actually analyze the serious issues it brings into play. Co-directors Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise clearly know how to not let the comic relief sabotage a story entirely, apparently even when they're as obnoxious as the comic relief here! No, the gargoyles are nowhere near as well-integrated as the comic relief in their previous film, Beauty and the Beast - but Prince Adam's castle staff is a pretty tough act to follow in that regard any way you shake it. Victor, Hugo, and Laverne* are the sort of tedious anachronistic belch-happy characters that bring down more Renaissance films than I'd honestly remembered, and yeah, I suppose they had to be in the movie enough for Disney to promote this as something that the kiddies might like, and that sucks. But the balance is less damaging here than it was in Aladdin or The Lion King, and I'm sure Trousdale and Wise deserve a lot of the credit there. I can't imagine how this film would've turned out without them! (As a side note, they also seem to be disproportionately fond of ending their films with climactic rooftop battle scenes involving a non-traditionally handsome fella protecting a sexy lady from some other dude who looks more human on the outside, but is definitely far less so on the inside, who in the end plummets to his death.)

Also rather BatB-esque: Songs that actually advance and enhance the plot! Sure, they're not as catchy as the songs there, but it's not like they're supposed to be, either. They're more like dramatic musical monologues, and they're VERY well done. It's safe to say that the star of the show is Frollo's "Hellfire", also probably the single creepiest song in the Disney canon. (It's not normal to rub a scarf against your face THAT fervently, dude.) Actually, in general, Frollo is a really interesting villain. When we first met him, I was genuinely afraid that he was going to be a rather Lady Tremainesque figure - awful just for the sake of being awful, existing for literally no other apparently purpose. And I wasn't looking forward to a repeat of that! But then....while still irredeemably, invariably awful, they actually gave him depth, with his own fucked up view of the way the world works, and he's certainly not infallible, even by his own ridiculous self-righteous view of him...self. He's, like, an actual person or something! A really shitty person, but really shitty people are still people, too! It's nice to see that David Ogden Stiers' surprisingly limp Governor Ratcliffe (the script's fault, not his!) was but a brief diversion from the otherwise steady procession of interesting villains. The studio's redeemed themselves for now; I guess they don't have to burn in the pyre........yet.

One sticking point that I expected to have with this movie - because it's impossible NOT to have this shit spoiled ahead of time - is the idea that Quasimodo ends the movie alone, as far as sex-having-ness goes. "It's because he's UGLY, isn't it??", I was prepared to ask accusingly, before laying out a bitchy, self-righteous argument about the movie's undermining its own messages. And then I actually watched it, and it's....not that bad. In a weird way, there's something very relieving about a Disney film where there's more than one good guy interested in our Resident Hot Lady! That's just how life is - not everyone's gonna get what they want all the time, and they're definitely not gonna stumble into a lifetime of wedded bliss with the first nice person of the opposite sex you meet, despite what so many Princess-themed Disney flicks seem to believe so very strongly. Heartbreak is inevitable. Arguably, I think it teaches an even better lesson: Rejection sucks, romantic or otherwise, and there will always be SOME people who reject you, but that's no reason not to brave the world anyway. Take it from me, it's better than being a hermit living in a belltower. Much has been made of how Disney changed the ending from the original story's delightful Everybody Dies scenario, but - let's face it - it was a given that they'd have to make it lighter. And I can't think of a more sensible way to end this story sans sadness.

It's really hard to imagine a film like this being released today without being surrounded by a firestorm of controversy. There would inevitably be arguments about how it's somehow anti-Christian, even though David Ogden Stiers' Archdeacon is an unrealistically good guy, and one of Frollo's biggest mistakes is defying him! And, well, it's a pretty sure thing that this WOULDN'T be rated G if it had been released today, what with all the helling and the damning and the licentious-ing, and also, Esmerelda's pole-dancing. And, y'know, it's a shame that we seem to live in an increasingly short-sighted time, because everyone's missing out on what I'd say is the second-best Disney Renaissance film. (If only it hadn't been for those pesky gargoyles. Curse you, Jason Alexander!!)

TERRIBLE AND UNNECESSARY DIRECT-TO-DVD DISNEY SEQUEL CONCEPT THAT CERTAINLY DESERVES DAMNATION: When Quasimodo accidentally steps through a time portal, he is whisked forward to the present day and plopped out into a crowded football stadium, thus setting forth the events of The Hunchback of Notre Dame III: The Hunched Quarterback of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish! Noticing his freakish exterior, Notre Dame's Coach Jack Coachen (Bill Engvall is broke and pathetic enough to do these, right) immediately recruits him right then and there, replacing former star quarterback Chad Forthdon (Calum Worthy). The nefarious Chad defects to Duke, where he reveals everything in Notre Dame's playbook to the Blue Devils' even more nefarious (and strangely familiar) Coach Mitch Frollo, giving him an unfair advantage the next time the two teams meet. In due time, it's revealed that the true reason for their long-standing rivalry that the film just made up is Mitch's desire to obtain Notre Dame's leprechaun mascot, who is secretly a real leprechaun (voiced by Jon Lovitz), for use in secret and evil magickal rituals to revive his ancestor whom you might remember! Alas, it all comes down to Quasimodo's bitchin' football skillz to save the team for another year. (Spoiler alert: He probably does. Sigh.)








*Victor Hugo's middle name was Marie. Why is "Marie" not an acceptable name for a she-gargoyle??